A customer’s casual remark could be a relationship-wrecking ‘iceberg’

Imagine you’re doing an account review with a longtime client — let’s call her Jane. At the end, Jane says, “By the way, I read an article about some new technology they say could reduce our costs. Are you on top of that?”

You are, and you tell Jane that while this new tech could save her a little on the front end, it’s risky and could cost her more long-term.

Jane makes no further comment, and you think the issue has been dealt with. But a few weeks later, she tells you she’s taking her business elsewhere. You feel blindsided — but should you?

No. The problem is that Jane’s question sounded offhand, like an afterthought — but it was much more than that. Jane was seriously interested in this new technology, and when you essentially pooh-poohed it, she felt you were exaggerating the risks to keep her account. That wasn’t true, but it was how she took it.

So when another vendor called her a couple weeks later, Jane agreed to meet, and concluded she could save 15% with little risk. Boom. Your account was gone.

Pay attention

What was your mistake? You read Jane’s remark as an offhand one. But there are no offhand remarks in sales. Any comment related to your relationship, your product, or the customer’s operations requires your full attention.

Such comments are like the tip of an iceberg. What you perceive above the surface may look harmless, but it could indicate big trouble below. People miss conversational icebergs all the time, because the danger isn’t always easy to spot.

Behavioral research reveals one big reason why: When people converse, speakers pay more attention to planning what they’re going to say than to what the other person is saying. This holds true in sales and many other situations.

In one study, Canadian researchers led by a McGill University professor interviewed volunteers about how much they recalled from past conversations, comparing their memory of what they said with what others said to them. The researchers found that while people were good at reporting what they said to their conversation partners – such things as asking questions and raising new points — they weren’t so good at remembering what their partners said to them.

Why was this? The researchers said it appeared to be a matter of bandwidth. When your brain is busy building the next sentence you want to say, you’re distracted from paying close attention to the other person’s comments – even if they reveal the ominous tip of an iceberg.

Disguised criticism

So let’s assume you understand that danger, and you’ve got your ears open to what your buyer is saying. Now another danger lurks: Instead of stating their problem with your product directly, buyers may wrap the criticism with some good stuff to make you feel better. And it’s easy to hear only the good part. For example, “I really like the power of the software you designed for us. The user interface could have been more intuitive, but overall I thought it was good.”

The line “the interface could have been more intuitive” is the tip of an iceberg. Ignore the fluff around it; when you encounter a conversational iceberg, do what ships do when they spot a real iceberg – activate your sonar. Send out a probing message – a Ping – and see what comes back. For example, say: “You said the interface could be more intuitive. Let’s address that. Help me understand what kinds of problems you’re encountering.”

So, going back to our original example, what if you had treated Jane’s comment about the new technology as a conversational iceberg? You could have said something like this: “Jane, I’m curious. Could you share what you’ve heard and how you think it might reduce your costs? If it can be done without increasing your risks, we should explore it.”

If you had, you’d have discovered a little sign of big trouble ahead, and most likely retained Jane’s business.

This blog entry is adapted from the Rapid Learning module “Account retention: Little signs of big trouble.” If you’re a Rapid Learning customer, you can watch the video here. If you’re not, but would like to see this video (or any of our other programs), request a demo and we’ll get you access.

The blog post and Rapid Learning video module are based in part on the following research article: Fichten, C.S., et al. (1992) Verbal and Nonverbal Communication Cues in Daily Conversations and Dating. Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 132, No. 6, 751-769.